Did I give the cat a choice to tell me if they wanted to be touched or not?Who initiated the contact? The cat should ideally always be the one who initiates contact. The best thing to do is to gently offer your hand to the cat and see if they choose to rub against it or not – always let the cat make the first move. If the cat doesn’t rub against you, they might not want to be touched right now.Does the cat have sufficient choice to remove themselves from the interaction/get away if they want to? Your cat should always be able to easily move away from you during interactions and should not be restrained or picked up; this can be stressful for them and might cause them to resort to aggression to try to free themselves.If your cat is busy doing something else, like eating, sleeping or playing they are unlikely to appreciate being touched, or fussed. The same goes for if they’re hiding, or in one of their quiet places.If your cat appears scared, or in pain you should generally try and avoid touching them. If you urgently need to take them to the vet and aren’t able to lure them into their carrier with food, first make sure to protect yourself with long sleeves. Use a towel to pick them up as calmly and quickly as possible as they may understandably lash out.

Am I paying Attention?

Am I looking out for any subtle signs to tell me if the cat is comfortable or uncomfortable?It’s important to keep an eye out for signs that your cat is continuing to enjoy you stroking them. It’s also a good idea to know what to look for that if cat is getting frustrated, too stimulated, or just feeling uncomfortable.A happy cat will seem relaxed, with no tension in their body. They will also actively seek out the strokes and if you move away or stop, they will follow you. Have a look at our article on signs that your cat is happy for more information.An uncomfortable, or unhappy cat will be more tense, may physically move away from you, or suddenly groom themselves, start shaking their head, or rotating their ears and licking their nose. For more information about signs that your cat is unhappy, check out our article on cat body language.

Where am I touching the cat? Does the cat want me to keep touching them?Am I touching the cat in places cats generally like? The following picture is a traffic light system of where cats generally like, and dislike, being petted.Green - Cheeks, head and chin. Lots of friendly cats will enjoy being stroked here.Amber - Upper body, front chest and tail. Some cats might like being stroked here, and others might not, depending on their individual preferences.Red - Stomach, and base of tail. These areas are particularly sensitive so the majority of cats will not like being stroked here.Am I giving the cat opportunities to tell me if they still want to be stroked? You can test this by following a simple 3 second rule: If you pause after 3 seconds of stroking your cat, do they try to reinitiate contact (i.e. rub against you)? If not, your cat has probably had enough for now! They may just appreciate a little pause and will then tell you when they’re ready for more, or they may prefer to just sit quietly next to you or even have a play session instead.

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